I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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