matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
