last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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