I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
