I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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