i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
