No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
