Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
