OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
