If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
