Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
