yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
