Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize
