I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
