Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
