If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Boobs speak an international language.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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