Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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