I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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