People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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