Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
