You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
