I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
dude. I can hear the air.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
