I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
