There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
