We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
