Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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