Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
But we have bathrooms and they dont
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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