She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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