We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
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