whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm too high and old for this...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
