he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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