dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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