am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm passing your future prison.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
