My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
