i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
