Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
