Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
