so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just high enough for therapy.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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