Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
