the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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