Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
