Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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