I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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