I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
