I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
