So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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