Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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