I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
