wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
