well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
